i used baking grease as lip gloss
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
