Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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