I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
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When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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