Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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