using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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