Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
