SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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