just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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