The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
not ubering you a puppy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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