He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
