I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
