Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
