just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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