im about as happy as oj after his trial
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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