You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
