Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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