okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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