I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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