Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i dont even know how to be here
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
