how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
