Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
