My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
