So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
