Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
