Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
