Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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