I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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