Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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