The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There's always time for handjobs
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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