what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
