I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize