To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
