Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
