My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
