Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
