I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
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I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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