Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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