so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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