Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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