he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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