Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Even my vagina gasped.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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