okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
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if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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