i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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