Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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