I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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