awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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