PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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