He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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