i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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