dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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