Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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