Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
zippers are such a cool invention
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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