Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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