im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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