Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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