the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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