Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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