I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
