Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
