CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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