Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
