Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
