I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
my poor anus
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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