I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
